"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
First I want to start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! I don’t know about you but, for me 2017 was a year that presented me with things I never even thought possible. And instead of pretending like I’m having an easy and wonderful time adjusting, I’m just gonna be open and honest and say that just because my opportunities have been amazing, the change has really been hard for me, and at times kind of painful. I've been so busy and stressed that I've put this blog on the back burner until I could kind get my life back in order. I’m sitting in an Uber right now as I write this. I just got picked up from LAX and I have about an hour until I’m back to my place because of traffic. I cried to my parents this morning right before I left because I was telling them how much I didn’t want to go back. I just spent two weeks back home for the holidays and I felt like I belonged there again. My friends, my family, my gym, my church, MY DOG!! Once I was back, I didn’t want to leave. And I’ve been so hard on myself thinking I’m a child for complaining and getting upset and genuinely missing all of these things when in reality I’m just taking longer than I expected to adjust, and that’s ok. I didn't know we were capable of being in panic mode for full on months at a time. But, so far what I’ve realized is that you can’t just give up on something because it’s hard in the beginning. You can't judge a new situation based on the time you've spent adjusting. And you can’t let yourself fall down just because you can’t see yourself standing there yet with a crown. I was hesitant before the decision was even made to move away because of fear. Fear of loneliness, boredom, change, learning something new. But every time I talked to my family and friends they reminded me of the bigger plan. They told me do it. Go for it, it’s right there, God put this in front of you and you better go get it. You can always move back home.
You can ALWAYS move back home.
What would our lives look like if we never took a risk. What would it be like if we said “no thank you” when God presented us a new path or direction. We’d be content, we’d be comfortable, and we’d probably be happy but we’d never get to where we needed to be, where He needed us to be. We’d never learn what we needed to learn in order to find our purpose. And we spend so much time in our own heads because we focus too much on the wrong things. This went wrong, work’s not going well, I can’t pay my bills, I’m seriously fighting right now and it feels like all life is doing is pushing me right back. And we forget the fact that all we really need is the hand of God to pull.
And He will ALWAYS pull for you.
We need to step back and look in the mirror and say “I know I’m here right now for a reason”, “My struggle is my lesson”, “My heartache is bringing me to my deeper strength”, “I’m starting from scratch and I’m gonna build something that they never even thought was possible because I’ve got the best player and coach already on my team, and by my side, and guiding me through.”